Lara Klopper

Transformation Life Coaching (Pty) Ltd

Registration number 2018/336012/07

Address

190 Glover Avenue

Unit 7 Villa Giardini

Die Hoewes

Centurion

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SUICIDE AND LOSS

When you have been left behind

Nothing ever prepares us for loss, nothing prepares us for the trauma of discovering someone we love dead at their own hand, in fact any loss devastates you. Shock overwhelms you, your mind not sure what to do with all these emotions of horror, loss, anger, sadness, feelings of being abandoned and excruciating sorrow.  If you could protect those you love from breaking the news you would but you have to let everyone know and their pain breaks your heart even more.

Maybe you fall apart straight away or maybe you feel that you need to be strong for a while to ensure that things run smoothly and then you fall apart.  There are many questions and police statements and additional forms as now the death certificate says 'Unnatural Causes'.  All you want to do is grieve your loss but life carries on and bills still have to be paid.  Then you fall apart again and a few times still as you remember the good times, you remember the promises of always being there for each other and you have to celebrate birthdays without them and anniversaries now are empty.

With suicide you wonder if you ever knew your partner, spouse, friend, child, parent - how could I not see their pain and so the blame begins, the what ifs running wild and you pull apart every conversation, every memory for a sign.  You beat yourself up thinking maybe I should have said this or done that for them, desperate that maybe this one thing could have saved a life.  Sadness is all you know and you drown in your pain.  You want to scream when you receive another motivational message from someone who has no clue what you have lost.  Nobody knows that you can no longer sleep with lights off and small things trigger panic attacks.

There is life after loss, don't loose yourself along with the person you have lost.  Life is precious, you are precious.

How I can help you:

 - Heal the trauma of the discovery and loss

 - Heal the emotions that overwhelm you - sadness, anxiety etc.

 - Heal that which is causing you despair - abandonment, grief etc.

 - Experience peace of mind, it was not your fault

 - Come to a point of forgiveness and freedom

 - Unconditional self love and acceptance

 - Create focus and an action plan for your life going forward

 - Offer advice on the administration process if required